[CHRISTMAS MUSIC]
THAT'S THE DRIVER.
SHE'S THE ONE THAT I WANT;
ONLY DON'T TELL HER THAT I ASKED FOR HER.
COME ON MOM.
IT'S ALMOST CHRISTMAS. WE NEED TO GET THE TREE.
COME ON.
CUDDLES FIRST.
[LAUGHTER]
HE DIDN'T SAY EXCUSE ME.
YEAH, HE'LL GET COAL IN HIS STOCKING.
NOW, SEE WE'VE GOT TO BE REALLY CAREFUL
ABOUT WHICH TREE TO BUY BECAUSE SANTA...
I WANT THE BIGGEST ONE!
ALL RIGHT. I'VE GOT TWENTY BUCKS.
IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE. LET'S TALK TREES.
A DOUBLE SAWBUCK AIN'T GOING TO BUY YOU MUCH TOP LADY.
DID I MENTION MY 7-YEAR-OLD BOY LIVES
FOR DECORATING A CHRISTMAS TREE
AND A SINGLE MOM IS ON A FIXED BUDGET.
HERE, I'LL GIVE YOU A DEAL.
WHY DON'T YOU TAKE THIS ONE?
OH GIVE ME A BREAK PAL!
BUT THIS ONE NORMALLY SALES FOR $50.
LADY, YOU'LL TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
WHAT DO I LOOK LIKE, SANTA CLAUS?
HEY, T-- LOOK AT THIS!
IT'S THE LAST ONE OF ITS KIND.
IT'S MAGICAL. A SANTA MAGNET.
WHAT DO YOU THINK?
IT'S A CHARLIE BROWN TREE.
IT'S ALL WE CAN AFFORD SWEETIE.
OKAY, LET'S GO.
DO YOU THINK SANTA MIGHT COME EARLY?
HE NEVER DOES.
I HOPE I GET AS MANY PRESENTS AS LAST YEAR.
DO YOU THINK I'LL GET AN R.C. SUPER BIKE?
THEY'RE SO COOL.
WELL DON'T GET YOUR HOPES UP TOO HIGH.
HOW COME? IT WAS AT THE TOP OF MY LIST.
WELL, SANTA'S HAD A TOUGH YEAR.
HOW COME?
THERE'S MORE KIDS,
SO THAT MEANS THERE ARE FEWER GIFTS FOR EVERYBODY.
HOME COME?
I'VE BEEN EXTRA SPECIAL GOOD.
OH, I KNOW YOU HAVE SWEETIE.
YOU KNOW THAT CHRISTMAS
IS ABOUT MORE THAN JUST GIFTS, RIGHT?
HOW COME?
YOU'VE GOT TO STOP ASKING HOW COME!
HOW COME?
HEY TREVOR.
HI.
DON'T GET ON THAT SKATEBOARD.
SHANNON, HI.
HEY MRS. GRANGER.
STAYING HERE FOR THE HOLIDAYS?
YEAH, STAYING HERE.
FAMILY COMING TO VISIT?
NO. NO FAMILY, JUST ME AND THE BOY.
I GOT MY SISTER AND HER NO-GOOD OUT-OF-WORK HUSBAND
COMING OVER WITH THEIR BRATTY KIDS.
OY.
HE'S ALWAYS DRUNK AND THEM KIDS
IS ALWAYS BUSTING UP SOMETHING.
OH, WHAT ARE YOU GOING TO DO?
IT'S THE HOLIDAYS.
TREVOR, LET'S GO.
YOU OUGHT TO COME OVER LATER FOR A VISIT.
I BOUGHT A HAM. IT WAS ON SALE.
MY COUSIN NORM IS COMING OVER.
HE WORKS FOR THE M.T.A..
GOT A GREAT HEALTH PLAN.
FULL DENTAL.
THAT'S NICE.
TREVOR, LET'S GO INSIDE SWEETIE.
NORM'S A SWEET GUY, A LITTLE STALKY,
BUT SOLID IF YOU KNOW WHAT I MEAN.
I FIGURE HE'S LONELY, YOU'RE LONELY -
YOU SHOULD MEET.
TREVOR! NOW!!
SO I'LL SEE YOU TONIGHT THEN.
OH, WEAR SOMETHING SNAZZY - FOR NORM.
TRY IT DEEPER ON THE BRANCH HONEY.
[MICROWAVE BEEPING] POPCORN!
HEY, I GOT IT.
OH HOT, HOT, HOT, HOT!
OW, OW, OW, OW!
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
TELEPHONE.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
HELLO.
HEY, JAKE, THIS IS WEIRD, I WAS JUST HOLDING...
WHAT?
NO, DON'T DO THIS...
YOU CAN'T DO THIS...
NO, YOU'RE GOING TO TELL HIM.
TREVOR, IT'S YOUR DADDY.
DADDY!
I'VE BEEN REAL GOOD.
I SWEAR...
THEN I WON'T SWEAR ANYMORE.
WHEN ARE YOU COMING OVER?
OKAY, OKAY, OKAY.
WELL, THIS TREE IS NOT GOING TO DECORATE ITSELF.
DAD'S GOING TO ASPEN FOR CHRISTMAS.
I KNOW SPORT.
HE DOESN'T LOVE ME, DOES HE?
OH OF COURSE HE LOVES YOU.
HE LOVES YOU VERY MUCH.
IT'S JUST HARD FOR HIM TO GET AWAY FROM WORK.
HE WORKS AT ASPEN?
NOW WE'RE NOT GOING TO LET THIS
RUIN OUR CHRISTMAS ARE WE?
ARE WE?
CAN I EAT THE POPCORN?
SURE. KNOCK YOURSELF OUT.
AND SAVE SOME FOR THE TREE.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
HELLO.
HI, IT'S HERB.
OH HEY HERB.
YEAH, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I THINK I'VE GOT A JOB FOR YOU.
YEAH, WHEN?
RIGHT NOW.
HERB, IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.
THE GUYS A V.I.P.,
IT COULD BE A VERY IMPORTANT CLIENT TO US,
AND YOU KNOW HOW WE COULD USE VERY IMPORTANT CLIENTS.
I GOT TREVOR.
LOOK, HE'LL PAY TRIPLE RATE PLUS A BONUS.
I CAN'T. GET ONE OF THE OTHER GUYS.
I GOT NOBODY ELSE.
YOU'VE GOT TO DO ME THIS SOLID.
HEY, I'M STUCK.
HERB, I GOT TO GO.
THINK HOW FAR THIS TRIPLE PAY PLUS A BONUS WOULD GO.
YOU COULD GET THAT KID SOME MORE PRESENTS.
ARE YOU GOING TO DO THIS OR WHAT?
OKAY, TWO HOURS, THAT'S ALL HE GETS.
AND I WANT NEW YEARS AND EASTER OFF
AND A WEEK IN MARCH TO CRAM FOR MY C.P.A. EXAM.
ALL THIS WHEELING AND DEALING - YOU'RE KILLING ME HERE.
YEAH, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT.
OKAY, LOOK WHEN YOU PASS YOUR EXAM
YOU'RE GOING TO DO MY TAXES.
OH, I WOULDN'T GO ANYWHERE NEAR THOSE.
OKAY, GIVE ME THE DETAILS.
480 PARK WEST,
THE GUY'S NAME IS FRED NICHOLS,
PICK HIM UP AT 11 O'CLOCK.
CUTTING IT CLOSE THERE HERB.
YEAH, JUST WEAR THE HAT, OKAY.
YEAH.
HEY, HERE'S A GREAT IDEA.
HOW WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO TO MRS. GRANGER'S
AND PLAY WITH HERE NIECES AND NEPHEWS?
SHE SMELLS LIKE A SOCK.
I BET SHE HAS COOKIES.
HER COOKIES TASTE LIKE CHEESE.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT HERE?
MOM NEEDS TO GO TO WORK.
WHAT ABOUT THE TREE?
WELL WE CAN FINISH DECORATING IT WHEN I GET BACK.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MRS. GRANGER'S.
WELL SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO DO THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO.
THAT'S LIFE.
IT'S NOT FAIR.
I'M TELLING YOU I WROTE THAT CHEQUE.
YEAH HANG ON.
HOW COME YOU PEOPLE ARE WORKING CHRISTMAS EVE ANYWAY?
SHOULDN'T YOU BE OUT DRINKING EGGNOG OR SOMETHING?
HERE IT IS.
DECEMBER 17, CHEQUE #332.
YEAH, YEAH, NO I TOLD YOU I WROTE IT.
WELL IT'S NOT MY FAULT IF YOU HAVEN'T GOTTEN IT YET.
LOOK, I DON'T KNOW IF YOU KNOW THIS,
BUT I WORK FOR CHANNEL 6 NEWS...
NO I'M NOT THE ANCHOR.
NO I'M NOT THE WEATHER GUY, OR THE SPORTS GUY.
I WORK WEEKENDS, I DO FEATURE STORIES, UH HUH,
AND IF I'M PUSHED
I MAY DO AN UNDERCOVER INVESTIGATION
ON HOW YOU INTIMIDATE HARD-WORKING PEOPLE
DURING THE HOLIDAYS.
YEAH, HONEST PEOPLE TRYING TO EKE OUT A LIVING,
PUT FOOD ON THE TABLE,
CLOTHING ON THEIR BACKS,
UNTIL YOU BLOOD-SUCKING FINANCE COMPANIES
COME ALONG WITH YOUR HIGH INTEREST PAYMENTS
AND YOUR INTIMIDATING COLLECTION TACTICS...
IS THIS THE PAYMENT YOU'RE TALKING ABOUT?
WHAT'S YOUR GRACE PERIOD ON THIS?
HELLO?
THAT'S TELLING HIM PETIE.
PLEASE DON'T CALL ME PETIE.
HERE.
WHAT'S THIS?
SECRET SANTA.
BILLY'S HEAVY METAL CHRISTMAS CLASSICS.
YOU SHOULDN'T HAVE.
IT WASN'T FROM ME.
NOW YOU'VE GOT TO GIVE A GIFT FOR THE NAME YOU PICKED.
YOU GOT LAUREN, REMEMBER?
OH CRAP.
SO I HEAR MARTEL IS LEAVING THE D.C. BUREAU.
WORD AT THE WATER COOLER IS
THAT IT'S YOU OR LAUREN FOR THE GIG.
DO ME A FAVOUR, WILL YOU WRAP THIS?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
DO YOU KNOW WHAT A FLANGE LOOKS LIKE?
I CAN'T BELIEVE YOU WOULD EVEN CONSIDER LAUREN
FOR THE D.C. GIG.
I'M DUE FRANK.
THE WIFE WANTS AN OLD FASHIONED CHRISTMAS
WITH THE GRANDKIDS.
NOTHING ELECTRONIC.
I BUSTED MY BUTT TO GET THAT GIG.
I'VE TAKEN EVERY FLUFF PIECE YOU'VE EVER GIVEN ME
AND I'VE MADE IT WORK, RIGHT?
I'VE INTERVIEWED HEADS OF STATE,
SIX SITTING PRESIDENTS.
I WAS ALMOST SET ON FIRE,
AND I CAN'T FIGURE OUT
HOW SLOT B FITS INTO FLANGE E.
LAUREN IS A HACK.
I KNOW SHE'S A HACK.
THEN WHY PUT HER RIGHT WHERE THE NETWORK
CAN WATCH HER EVERY MOVE?
D.C. IS THE HOT SPOT
FOR ANYBODY WHO WANTS TO GO NATIONAL.
SHE'S NOT CITY.
YOU ARE.
WHAT'S THAT SUPPOSED TO MEAN?
YOU'RE LIKE A NEIGHBORHOOD KIND OF GUY.
PEOPLE FEEL LIKE YOU'RE ONE OF 'EM.
I DON'T WANT TO BE ONE OF 'EM FRANK.
I'M SICK TO DEATH
OF THE GRUFF BUT LOVEABLE HOTDOG VENDOR.
THE GRUFF BUT LOVEABLE SUBWAY CONDUCTOR,
THE GRUFF BUT LOVEABLE CABBIE.
BUT YOU'RE SO GOOD AT IT.
YOU'RE GRUFF BUT LOVEABLE.
I'M SUFFOCATING HERE FRANK.
PETER, THIS IS GOING TO COME FROM UPSTAIRS.
IF SHE GETS THE JOB, I'LL QUIT.
HM.
YOU WANT THE JOB?
STOP SITTING ON YOUR RUMP
WAITING FOR NEWS TO HAPPEN.
SHOW THEM WHAT YOU'VE GOT.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
BEST I COULD DO.
THANKS.
WHAT'D FRANK SAY?
WE GOT TO MAKE OUR OWN SPLASH.
EXCELLENT!
I MET THIS CHICK IN THIS CLUB
WHERE THEY PIERCE THEMSELVES IN REALLY WEIRD PLACES.
THAT'D MAKE A GREAT STORY.
OKAY PEOPLE, HERE'S THE GIG FOR TODAY.
THE SOONER YOU GET OUT AND FILE,
THE SOONER YOU CAN GET HOME AND WIT FOR SANTA.
HEY, LAUREN,
HERE'S THIS THING.
AH, YOU'RE MY SECRET SANTA.
BILLY'S HEAVY METAL CHRISTMAS CLASSICS?
YEAH, I THOUGHT YOU'D LIKE IT.
WAY TO REGIFT BUTT RASH.
I GAVE THIS TO YOU.
I GOT IT FOR FREE WITH A FILL UP AT THE GAS STATION.
THAT'S YOUR IDEA OF A GIFT?
A FREE CD FROM A GAS STATION!
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT,
I'LL SEND YOU A NICE TIE FROM D.C..
OH YEAH, WELL WE'LL SEE ABOUT THAT
YOU NON-CREATIVE GIFT GIVER PERSON.
YOU GOT TO WORK ON YOUR COMEBACKS.
PETER...
THANKS.
SO WHAT DID WE PULL? COP RAID? SHOOTING? FIRE?
GRUFF BUT LOVEABLE ELVES.
I REALLY APPRECIATE IT MRS. GRANGER.
DON'T YOU GIVE IT ANOTHER THOUGHT.
WE JUST LOVE THIS LITTLE FELLA.
OKAY, HUG AND A KISS?
HUG?
KISS?
OKAY, TREVOR YOU LEAVE ME NO CHOICE.
IT IS TICKLE ATTACK TIME.
[LAUGH]
I PROMISE I WON'T BE LONG.
YOU BETTER NOT.
HE'LL BE FINE.
BE GOOD.
BYE! BYE.
WHO YOU GETTIN'?
FRED NICHOLS.
OH, NUTSY FEGAN, YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE A FUN TRIP.
[LOUD LAUGHTER]
I BEAT YOU ROGER, ONE MORE TIME!
YES YOU DID MR. NICHOLS.
YOU MUST BE MY DRIVER.
IT'S THE HAT RIGHT?
BIG TIP-OFF.
YOU'RE JUST SO MUCH PRETTIER THAN YOUR PICTURE.
IT'S THAT BOOK.
I HATE THAT BOOK.
NO, NO, ALL I MEAN IS IT'S JUST WONDERFUL
TO JUST SEE YOU ACTUALLY HERE, IN PERSON.
OKAY, WE NEED TO LAY SOME GROUND RULES HERE.
I AM THE DRIVER, YOU'RE THE PASSENGER.
YOU TELL ME WHERE YOU WANT TO GO,
AND I WILL TAKE YOU THERE.
IF YOU HAVE SOME FANTASY TRIP GOING ON IN YOUR HEAD,
YOU CALLED THE WRONG SERVICE.
YOU SPEAK THIS WAY TO ALL YOUR CLIENTS?
ONLY THE ONES THAT NEED TO BE SET STRAIGHT.
WELL, FRED NICHOLS, PASSENGER.
SHANNON MCMANNUS, DRIVER.
OKAY.
TELL YOU WHAT SHANNON, MAY I ASK,
WHY DON'T WE HIT THE STREET?
GOOD.
ALL RIGHT, ROGER - BRIEF CASE.
SIR.
ONE MOMENT.
THANK YOU MR. NICHOLS.
FELICE NAVIDAD, ROGER.
THAT'S SPANISH,
NOT TO CONFUSED WITH THE PORTUGUESE FELICE NATAL.
[WHISTLE]
EIGHT YEARS I'VE BEEN ON THE JOB,
HE DON'T SAY 2 WORDS TO ME THE WHOLE TIME.
ALL OF A SUDDEN HE'S MR. HAPPY.
IT'S THE 4TH C-NOTE I'VE GOTTEN THIS WEEK.
GOOD LUCK. YOU'RE GOING TO NEED IT.
FIRST TIME IN A LIMO MR. NICHOLS?
NO, NO, NO.
I JUST NEVER TOOK THE TIME TO STOP
AND PUSH THE BUTTONS.
[LAUGHTER]
FOR PETE SAKE CALL ME FRED.
SO WHERE TO FRED?
WELL...
ROGER? YES SIR?
BANANA.
HOLD ON ROGER.
MHM.
JOYEUX NOEL.
THANK YOU MR. NICHOLS.
THAT'S FRENCH.
WHATEVER.
WHERE DO PEOPLE GO TO GET A TRIM, YOU KNOW,
A HAIRCUT IN THIS TOWN?
I'M GOING OUT ON A LIMB HERE,
BUT I'D SAY A BARBER SHOP.
WHERE DO YOU USUALLY GO?
AT MY OFFICE.
AT LEAST I USED TO,
BUT I WANT THE FASTEST BARBER SHOP IN TOWN.
THAT WOULD BE SPEEDY CUTS, DOWNTOWN.
SPEEDY CUTS - GEE I LIKE THE SOUND OF THAT.
SPEEDY CUTS TOUT SUITE.
TOUT SUITE IT IS.
[HUMMING JINGLE BELLS]
CERTAINLY IN THE HOLIDAY SPIRIT, AREN'T WE.
I LEARNED MERRY CHRISTMAS IN 24 LANGUAGES.
GOOD FOR YOU SIR,
I'M SURE THAT'LL COME IN HANDY.
AND WHAT ABOUT YOU, SHANNON MCMANNUS?
HOW'S YOUR CHRISTMAS SPIRIT?
HO, HO, HO.
I DON'T BELIEVE YOU FOR ONE MINUTE.
SORRY, I REALLY DON'T FEEL LIKE SHARING.
OH, TOUGH NUT EH.
I'M GOING TO CRACK YA!
I WOULDN'T BET ON IT.
WE HAVE A COMPANY POLICY
ABOUT GETTING TOO COZY WITH OUR CLIENTS
OR INTERFERING WITH THEIR BUSINESS.
YOU KNOW SOMETHING?
I HAVE NOT HAD A HOTDOG IN ...FOR OVER 20 YEARS.
HOW COULD I HAVE NOT HAD A HOTDOG IN THAT LONG?
TIME FLIES.
YES IT DOES, SO PULL OVER.
VENDOR: OH YEAH, BEST DOG IN THE CITY.
HEY, I'M LOOKING FOR A HOTDOG.
WELL YOU CAME TO THE RIGHT PLACE PAL.
IT SO HAPPENS I HAVE A LOVELY LITTLE VINTAGE HERE.
BEEN COOKING SINCE ABOUT 1968.
HOW DO YOU LIKE IT MAC?
WELL, LET'S WALK IT THROUGH THE GARDEN.
ONE DOG WITH THE WORKS COMING UP.
AND YOU SHANNON MCMANNUS,
WHAT WILL YOU HAVE?
OH, I'M FINE.
I KNOW YOU ARE, BUT SUIT YOURSELF.
HEY WHAT ARE THOSE BROWN THINGS?
YOU'RE KIDDING RIGHT?
IT'S A KNISH.
WELL, I'VE GOT TO HAVE ONE OF THOSE.
AND A POP.
I LOVE SAYING THE WORD POP.
SHANNON MCMANUS, POP?
NO POP, THANKS.
WHAT'S THE BEST YOU'VE EVER DONE HERE IN 1 DAY
PUSHING THE PRODUCT?
BEST DAY?
I DON'T KNOW $100, $150, IF IT'S REALLY HOT.
I'D LIKE TO BUY OUT THE WHOLE CART,
SEND YOU HOME EARLY, YOU KNOW,
A LITTLE STORY TO TELL.
HOW'S THAT FOR SOME RELISH?
HEY, YOU'VE GOT $200, IT'S ALL YOURS.
TELL YOU WHAT? YOU'VE GOT 5 OR $600 THERE
AND IT'S ALL YOURS.
OH.
FIVE HUNDRED BUCKS! MERRY CHRISTMAS MAC!
WELL, BUON NATALE. THAT'S ITALIAN.
LISTEN, HOT DOGS ARE ON ME.
COME ON, HAVE A FREE LUNCH OKAY!
OKAY.
HAUSKA JOULU, AS THE FINNS SAY!
[UNCLEAR]
THAT'S CANTONESE.
YOU KNOW I MIGHT GET MYSELF ONE OF THOSE CARTS
FOR MY LIVING ROOM.
THAT HAS GOT TO BE THE MOST EXPENSIVE HOTDOG IN THIS CITY.
MAYBE YOU OUGHT TO BE A LITTLE MORE CAREFUL
SPREADING AROUND THAT KIND OF CASH.
BUT WHAT HAPPENED TO THE POLICY OF NONINTERFERENCE.
WELL IT'S NOT THE STAR TREK PRIME DIRECTIVE,
I'M JUST SAYING...
UH HUH, GOTTCHA,
LOUD AND CLEAR.
OF COURSE, YOU DON'T MIND IF I JUST IGNORE YOU.
IT'S YOUR DIME.
SEVERAL THOUSAND DIMES ACTUALLY.
BUT YOU KEEP UP THE GOOD WORK
AND YOU'LL GET YOUR SLICE OF THE PIE OKAY.
LISTEN, IS THIS PHONE PAID UP?
KNOCK YOURSELF OUT FRED.
OKAY.
I'LL BET YOU I'M BACK IN LESS THAN 2 MINUTES.
HO HO HO, SEASON'S GREETINGS.
ALL RIGHT SOMEBODY, START CUTTING!
IS THIS MR. NICHOLS' LIMO?
YEAH, INSIDE...
HE CALLED AND ASKED ME TO WAIT FOR HIM.
I'M HIS ATTORNEY.
ARTHUR FINNEGAN.
WHAT'S WITH THIS GUY ANYWAY?
EXCUSE ME?
ANY RECENT BLOWS TO THE HEAD?
I TOLD YOU IT WOULD TAKE ME LESS THAN 2 MINUTES.
ALL RIGHT, NOW LISTEN UP BOYS, GATHER ROUND.
I WANT YOU TO REPEAT AFTER ME:
GLEDILEG JÓL!
OKAY CONGRATULATIONS,
YOU HAVE JUST SAID MERRY CHRISTMAS IN ICELANDIC.
THERE YOU GO.
OH, SHANNON MCMANNUS, ARTHUR FINNEGAN.
ARTHUR, SHANNON.
AH, MAYBE WE SHOULD GET GOING
BEFORE THE MOB GETS MORE MOB-LIKE.
OH NO, THEY'RE FINE.
HELLO THERE EVERYONE.
LISTEN, [UNCLEAR] THAT'S GERMAN.
I REALLY THINK YOU SHOULD STOP DOING THAT..
ALL I'M DOING IS SAYING MERRY CHRISTMAS.
I MEAN THE MONEY.
ARTHUR, LET'S ROLL.
YOU RIDE UP FRONT WITH SHANNON.
OH, NO, NO, NO.
NO ONE SITS NEXT TO ME WHEN I DRIVE.
HOW ELSE ARE THE 2 OF YOU GOING TO GET TO KNOW ONE ANOTHER,
ON YOUR FIRST DATE.
DATE?
WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE?
YOUR NOSTRILS FLARE,
YOUR EYES BRIGHTEN UP WHEN YOU GET ANGRY...
JUST LIKE YOUR MOTHER.
WHAT DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY MOTHER?
ARTHUR.... LET'S ROLL.
RIGHT.
[CROWD GETTING LOUDER]
BYE! MERRY CHRISTMAS!
ARE YOU GOING TO TELL ME HOW YOU KNOW MY MOTHER?
DID I SAY I KNEW YOUR MOTHER?
WELL WHAT WAS THAT CRACK ABOUT MY NOSE AND EYES
LOOKING LIKE HERS?
WELL, DOESN'T EVERY DAUGHTER RESEMBLE HER MOTHER?
HEY, WHAT IS THIS DATE BUSINESS WITH ARTHUR?
I SHOULD HAVE SAID FIRST MEETING.
BUT, IF YOU 2 WANT TO DATE EACH OTHER,
I WON'T STAND IN YOUR WAY.
THERE IS SOMETHING REALLY HINCKY HERE.
NO OFFENCE ARTHUR.
NONE TAKEN.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT, SHANNON MCMANNUS,
WHY DON'T YOU CONSIDER THIS TIP, AN ADVANCE,
TO JUST ALLEVIATE YOUR SENSE OF HINCKINESS.
WHERE TO FRED?
YOU SEE THE LOOKS ON THE KIDS' FACES,
THE WAY THEY LIGHT UP WHEN THEY SEE YOU?
IT MAKES IT ALL WORTHWHILE.
UNTIL ONE LITTLE BASTARD PUKES ALL OVER YOUR POINTED SHOES,
AND THEN YOU JUST WANT TO REACH OUT
AND GRAB THEIR SCRAWNY LITTLE NECK AND...
CUT, CUT, CUT...
WHAT DID I SAY?
I GAVE YOU TONS OF SENTIMENT, LIKE YOU ASKED.
YOU CAN'T CALL KIDS LITTLE BASTARDS.
YOU SPEND THE DAY IN FELT WITH THOSE LITTLE BASTARDS
AND COME UP WITH A BETTER NAME.
OKAY, LET'S TAKE FIVE, KENNY...
YOU'RE REALLY TICKED OFF ABOUT BEING IN COMPETITION
WITH LAUREN FOR THIS D.C. GIG AREN'T YOU?
I DON'T WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT OKAY.
ALL RIGHT FINE.
SUIT YOURSELF.
THE THING IS I'M READY FOR THE BIG STORIES.
WHO'S GOING TO BE CHANGED
BY SEEING KENNY THE DISGRUNTLED ELF?
LIGHTEN UP DUDE, IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, COME ON UP,
TELL SANTA WHAT YOU WANT.
SMILE.
[TELEPHONE RINGS]
HEY ALLISON, WHAT'S UP?
SURE, BUT YOU'RE GOING TO OWE ME, BIG TIME.
ALL RIGHT.
HEY JANET.
WHAT'S UP?
NEED A HAIRCUT?
SURE.
HEY, YOU'RE NOT VIBING THIS?
YOU'VE BEEN WATCHING A LOT OF MTV HAVE YOU FRED?
BUSTED--!
I'M VIBING JUST FINE FROM HERE.
ALL RIGHT ARTHUR, LET'S SKATE.
PEEL OUT.
KNEES BENT MR. NICHOLS, THAT'S IT...
GOOD, EXCELLENT...
HELLO, MRS. GRANGER?
HELLO?
YEAH, IT'S SHANNON.
HOW'S TREVOR DOING?
HE'S TERRIFIC.
HAVING A BALL.
MOMMY'S ON THE PHONE.
HI.
HEY, HOW'S IT GOING?
I WANT TO GO HOME.
OH, HONEY, IT'S JUST A LITTLE WHILE LONGER.
THIS ISN'T A REALLY NICE CHRISTMAS EVE.
I KNOW, MOMMY IS NOT EXACTLY HAVING A GREAT TIME EITHER.
SOMETIMES YOU GOT TO DO
THE THINGS YOU DON'T WANT TO...THAT'S LIFE.
YOU ARE ONE SMART COOKIE!
DON'T SAY COOKIE!
WHO WANTS COOKIES?
NO THANK YOU, NO, NO.
HANG TOUGH SPORT.
I GOT IT.
AH, I GOT TO GO.
MOMMY'S CLIENT MIGHT BE GOING TO THE HOSPITAL.
LOVE YOU.
LOVE YOU TOO.
ARE YOU OKAY?
[LAUGHING] I WAS NEVER BETTER.
I'M FINE.
[LAUGHTER] LISTEN ARTHUR,
WHY DON'T YOU LOOK AFTER SHANNON,
KEEP HER COMPANY FOR A WHILE.
I'M FINE.
BUT, YOU'RE GOING TO START A RIOT.
OH NONSENSE.
LISTEN EVERYONE, MELE KALIKIMAKA!
THAT'S WHAT THEY SAY IN HAWAII.
THERE WE GO.
[UNCLEAR] ...THAT'S HINDU.
CAN'T YOU STOP HIM?
HE'S GOING TO HURT HIMSELF.
LOOKS LIKE HE'S HAVING FUN.
[BACKGROUND CHATTER/NOISE]
THERE'S A MAN WHO DESERVES MORE.
WELL IT LOOKS LIKE WE'RE DESTINED TO BE TOGETHER
THIS FINE CHRISTMAS EVE,
SO YOU MIGHT AS WELL TELL ME YOUR STORY,
GET IT OVER WITH.
WELL, NOT MUCH TO TELL REALLY.
LAWYER, LOVES TO COOK, LISTENS TO COUNTRY MUSIC,
THERE'S JUST SOMETHING ABOUT A COWBOY
WITH A BROKEN HEART THAT GETS TO ME.
HOW ABOUT YOU?
CLASSIC STORY REALLY.
A SINGLE MOM, SCRAPING BY.
CAME HOME TO DISCOVER DENTIST HUSBAND
HAD RUN OFF WITH PEROXIDE BLONDE HYGIENIST.
OUCH.
I GUESS HE WANTED SOMEONE HE TALK TEETH WITH.
[CHATTER/LAUGHTER IN THE BACKGROUND]
ALL RIGHT THERE'S PLENTY FOR EVERYONE.
JOYEAUX NOEL.
[LOUD CHATTER]
SOMEHOW I'M GIVING OFF THIS VIBE
THAT I NEED TO BE MATCHED UP.
WHAT'S WITH THE TEXTBOOK?
OH, IT'S ALL PART OF MY BIG PICTURE SCHEME.
WHICH IS?
I GET MY C.P.A. LICENSE, OPEN MY OWN BUSINESS,
MY SON AND I MOVE TO THE BURBS,
AND I BECOME A SOCCER MOM.
SOUNDS LIKE A GOOD PLAN.
TROY AND I WANT TO ADOPT.
TROY?
MY LIFE PARTNER.
HE'S A PUPPETEER.
WORKS ON SESAME STREET.
HE'S THE BACK END OF SNUFFALUPAGUS.
LOVES KIDS.
I THOUGHT THAT NICHOLS...
DIDN'T HE WANT US TO GET TOGETHER?
APPARENTLY SO.
TOTALLY CONFUSED...
WELL, I'M SURE YOU'VE COME TO REALIZE BY NOW
THAT WHAT MR. NICHOLS WANTS, MR. NICHOLS GETS.
THERE YOU GO, HOW'S THAT.
THAT WILL BUY YOU SOME BALLOONS.
STILL, THAT'S A HELL OF A LOT TO ASK.
YES.
[BACKGROUND NOISE]
LISTEN EVERYONE, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
[BACKGROUND CHATTER/NOISE]
SKATES ARTHUR, PLEASE.
WHAT A WORKOUT.
I'D SAY.
YOUR MOTHER LOVED TO SKATE.
ANOTHER ASSUMPTION?
ALL MOTHERS LOVE TO SKATE?
NO YOUR MOTHER GRACE, IN PARTICULAR.
YOU KNOW SHE CAME THAT CLOSE
TO QUALIFYING FOR THE OLYMPICS.
NOW YOU'RE FREAKING ME OUT.
HOW DO YOU KNOW MY MOTHER?
SHOES ARTHUR?
WHERE ARE MY SHOES?
THANK YOU.
I KNEW YOUR MOTHER AND YOUR FATHER,
GOD REST THEIR SOULS.
MY FATHER?
NUTS!
NUTS?
NUTS.
HEY YOU'RE THE NEWS GUY.
THE NEWS GUY.
YOU HERE FOR THE STORY?
I CALL IT IN.
WE ON THE AIR?
YEAH.
HEY, LIVE, YO VINNY, CHECK IT OUT,
I'M ON THE TUBE YOU BIG APE.
HOW DO YOU LIKE THEM APPLES?
I'LL HAVE A COUPLE OF PRETZELS WHEN YOUR READY...
FOR ME.
CAN ANYBODY TELL ME WHAT HAPPENED?
YEAH, YEAH SURE. GET THIS.
A GUY GIVES ME $200 FOR A TEN DOLLAR BUZZ.
THEN WISHES ME MERRY CHRISTMAS IN POLISH
AND THEN POOF... HE'S OUT THE DOOR.
THIS CRAZY GUY WAS JUST THROWING HUNDRED DOLLAR BILLS AROUND.
I GOT THREE OFF THE GROUND. LOOK MA!
THE GUY'S NUTS, BUT HIS MONEY IS REAL.
JUST A PRETZEL YOU KNOW, QUICK PRETZEL ACTUALLY...
I CAN GET MY MONEY READY....
ANYBODY HEAR WHERE HE MIGHT BE HEADED?
SURE, SURE.
I HEARD HIM SAY HE WANTED TO GO SKATING AT THE PLAZA RINK.
OKAY.
YOU GO.
COME ON LET'S GO.
I WANT TO GET MY PRETZEL...
NOW, NOW, LET'S GO.
IS HE GONNA THROW MORE MONEY THERE?
HEY MAN, AND I WAS GOING TO CALL IN SICK TODAY TOO...
YOUR NOSTRILS ARE REALLY FLARING NOW.
OKAY, JUST GIVE IT TO ME STRAIGHT.
WELL, IT SEEMS LIKE SEVERAL LIFETIMES AGO....
BUT WE HAD JUST GRADUATED FROM BUSINESS SCHOOL....
WHO?
YOUR FATHER AND ME.
TWO FRESH, PRESSED YOUNG SUITS,
MARCHING OFF TO WALL ST.
WALL ST.? NO, NO. YOU'RE MISTAKEN.
WE WORKED IN THE SAME BROKERAGE HOUSE.
HE WAS A LIKEABLE GUY.
QUICK WITH A JOKE AND A SMILE.
YOU'VE GOT TO BE THINKING OF SOMEONE ELSE.
BENJAMIN MCMANNUS OF YONKERS.
YEAH.
THICK RED HAIR, WIRE FRAMED GLASSES,
THE FANCY BLUE BOWTIES.
YOUR MOTHER, SHE WORKED IN A LITTLE TAVERN
AROUND THE CORNER.
WE HAD LUNCH THERE EVERYDAY.
MARTINI'S OLD TIME TAVERN.
YEAH, MARTINI'S.
THAT'S WHERE THEY MET.
OH, SHE WAS REALLY SOMETHING.
ONCE YOU ORDERED A DRINK FROM GRACE
SHE REMEMBERED EVERY TIME YOU CAME IN.
SHE HAD THIS GREAT LAUGH.
EVERY GUY IN THE PLACE WANTED TO GO OUT WITH HER.
INCLUDING YOU?
SHE JUST HAD EYES FOR BEN.
I THINK THAT'S THE ONLY TIME I LOST SOMETHING
I REALLY WANTED.
THIS IS INCREDIBLE.
I HAD NO IDEA MY DAD WORKED ON WALL ST.
WELL, HE DIDN'T FOR VERY LONG.
WHAT HAPPENED?
HE HAD A COUPLE OF SETBACKS
AND JUST NEVER PULLED HIMSELF TOGETHER AFTER THAT.
YOUR MOTHER DESERVED BETTER.
WHAT DID I SAY?
HEY, HEY, WAIT, WAIT.
WAIT, PLEASE.
MR. NICHOLS, I WILL BILL YOU FOR THE TIME YOU HAD
AND YOU CAN CALL FOR ANOTHER DRIVER.
WAIT.
NO. YOU WAIT.
I DON'T NEED SOME TOTAL STRANGER TELLING ME
WHAT MY MOTHER DESERVED FROM MY FATHER.
I'M NOT A TOTAL STRANGER.
I KNEW BEN AND GRACE VERY WELL.
I DON'T KNOW WHAT SORT OF PERVERSE PLEASURE
YOU'RE GETTING HERE, BUT I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE IT.
PLEASE, MY FEET ARE VERY COLD.
THANK YOU ARTHUR.
YOU KNOW TODAY WAS NO ACCIDENT.
I WANTED TO MEET YOU.
YOU'RE LIKE A MIRROR TO MY PAST,
PEOPLE I KNEW AND THINGS THAT I DID.
OKAY, SO NOW YOU'VE MET ME,
YOU'RE PAYING ME EXTRA AND I GET A BIG TIP.
NOW CAN I GET HOME TO MY SON.
I'VE GOT AN IDEA.
CALL ME CRAZY...
AH, DON'T TEMPT ME.
WHAT IF WE WENT ON A SHOPPING SPREE FOR YOUR BOY?
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO WAKE UP TOMORROW
AND SEE HIM DISCOVERING
EVERYTHING THAT HIS LITTLE HEART DESIRED?
THERE WAS THIS REMOTE CONTROL SUPER BUG
I COULDN'T GET HIM.
OKAY.
WHAT DO YOU SAY WE BUST OUT NEWMAN'S TOY SHOP?
OKAY, BUT THEN I GO HOME.
AND MIRROR OR NOT, NO MORE TALKING ABOUT MY PARENTS.
ARE WE CLEAR?
WELL, YOU DRIVE A TOUGH BARGAIN BUT...
[KNOCKING]
MIND IF WE ASK YOU A FEW QUESTIONS?
YES WE DO.
MR. NICHOLS DOESN'T WISH TO BE INTERVIEWED,
JUST GIVE HIM HIS PRIVACY.
[LAUGHTER]
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.
[COMMOTION]
LADIES AND GENTLEMEN, WHAT YOU'VE JUST WITNESSED
HAS BEEN HAPPENING
ALL OVER THE CITY THIS CHRISTMAS EVE.
WHO IS THIS SECRET SANTA AND WHY IS HE DOING THIS?
I WILL BE STAYING WITH THE STORY UNTIL I FIND OUT.
I'M PETER ARCHER WITH WXMS NEWS.
OKAY, COME ON LET'S GO.
[¶]
THIS IS REALLY TOO MUCH.
DO YOU HAVE ANY OF THOSE SUPER BIKES?
YES SIR.
DO YOU HAVE ANY CHILDREN YOURSELF?
TWO.
BETTER TAKE A COUPLE FOR THEM.
THANK YOU SIR.
[UNCLEAR]
THAT'S HEBREW FOR MERRY CHRISTMAS, GO FIGURE.
HI BOYS AND GIRLS. HI.
WHO HERE HAS BEEN GOOD?
UH OH SON.
WHAT HAPPENED, YOU HAVEN'T BEEN GOOD?
I TOLD A FIB.
WHEN MY MOMMY ASKED WHO GLUED POPCORN TO OUR DOG
I SAID IT WAS MY BABY BROTHER,
ON ACCOUNT OF HE CAN'T TALK YET.
MMM...WELL DID YOU SET THE RECORD STRAIGHT?
HUH?
DID YOU TELL THE TRUTH?
I JUST DID.
I THINK YOU SHOULD TELL YOUR MOM WHAT REALLY HAPPENED
AND TELL YOUR BROTHER THAT YOU'RE SORRY
AND YOU NEED TO GIVE YOUR DOG A TREAT.
THAT'S A LOT OF WORK.
YEAH, SO MAYBE YOU WON'T TELL FIBS ANYMORE.
WHY DON'T YOU GIVE ME FIVE?
OKAY.
THAT WAS A GREAT LESSON TO TEACH A KID.
LISTEN, THERE IS ONE PRESENT IN THIS STORE
THAT'S HERE JUST FOR YOU.
YOU'VE GOT 30 SECONDS TO FIND IT. GO!
[LOUD CHILDREN SOUNDS]
HE STARTED BEFORE I SAID GO...
I WANT ALL OF THESE WRAPPED
AND SENT TO THIS ADDRESS.
BUT IT'S CHRISTMAS EVE.
BUT GET IT THERE BY THE END OF THE BUSINESS DAY
AND WE'LL DO SOMETHING VERY NICE FOR YOUR STOCKING.
HE'S QUITE THE LOOKER.
YOU JUST WON'T GIVE UP.
FRIENDLY, ON THE RISE IN HIS FIRM,
MAKE A GOOD LIVING...
OWNS HIS OWN TOWNHOUSE IN THE VILLAGE....
I'M SURE HE DOES.
I JUST WANT YOU TO BE HAPPY.
I DON'T THINK ARTHUR'S GOING TO PUSH MY HAPPY BUTTON.
ARTHUR?
EXUSE ME, DO YOU MIND?
DON'T DO THIS.
ARTHUR, JUST MAN TO MAN.
WHAT DO YOU THINK OF OUR SHANNON MCMANNUS?
SHE'S FABULOUS.
IF YOU DON'T TELL HIM, I WILL.
ARTHUR?
MR. NICHOLS, I'M INVOLVED.
IS IT SERIOUS?
WELL, WE'VE MADE A LIFE COMMITMENT
ALTHOUGH THE HOLIDAYS ARE RATHER STRESSFUL AS TROY AND I
ALWAYS SEEM TO FIGHT OVER WHOSE PARENTS WE SHOULD VISIT.
TROY.
HIS LIFE PARTNER.
COLD ENOUGH FOR YOU?
YEAH, I LIKE IT, THE COLD.
YEAH, CUDDLING WEATHER.
OH RIGHT OUT OF THE BOX WITH THAT ONE!
I'M SORRY, I'M SORRY.
I'M JUST TEMPORARILY CAUGHT UP IN THE CHRISTMAS SPIRIT...
MAKES YOU SHARE INTIMATE DETAILS ABOUT YOURSELF,
WITH STRANGERS YOU PROBABLY WILL NEVER SEE AGAIN.
SO WHAT?
GOT TO LOVE A WOMAN IN UNIFORM.
OH LIKE I HAVEN'T HEARD THAT A MILLION TIMES.
OH YEAH, IT'S PRETTY WEAK HUH?
YOU GOT A GOOD FACE, I'LL GIVE YOU ANOTHER SHOT.
PETER ARCHER... MERRY CHRISTMAS.
SHANNON MCMANNUS, RIGHT BACK AT YA.
HEY... YOU'RE THAT NEWS GUY!
HEY REMEMBER THAT THING YOU DID THAT TIME
WITH THAT GUY... I LOVE THAT! REMEMBER THAT?
SOME OF MY BEST WORK...
..SO... HEY, HEY,
CAN I GIVE YOU MY 8 BY 10...
I'M KIND OF AN ACTOR... YOU KNOW,
MAYBE YOU COULD HOOK ME UP.
SO THIS GUY NICHOLS...
YOU'RE WORKING WITH HIM RIGHT?
YEAH.
HOW LONG HAVE YOU BEEN WORKING FOR HIM?
ABOUT AN HOUR AND A HALF.
YOU KNOW HE'S ONE OF THE RICHEST MEN IN THE CITY?
HAS A FORTUNE 500 BROKERAGE HOUSE,
A BIG PLACE OUT ON THE ISLAND...
DONALD TRUMP GOES TO HIM FOR LOANS.
AND YOUR POINT WITH THIS?
WHAT'S A GUY LIKE THAT DOING THROWING HIS MONEY AROUND?
IT'S CHRISTMAS, HE'S HAVING FUN.
WOULD YOU TURN THAT THING OFF?
SORRY.
YOU KNOW YOU DON'T NEED TO COME BARGING AT PEOPLE
WITH THAT ATTITUDE.
YOU CAN TRY ASKING NICE.
YOUR RIGHT, I'M SORRY.
I'M JUST ON A DEADLINE.
SO YOUR BEING CHARMING WAS JUST A FRONT
TO GET YOUR STORY?
NO, NO, THE CHARMING PART WAS REAL.
WELL, YOU GOT TO TRY HARDER THAN THAT WITH ME PETIE.
OH, PLEASE, PLEASE DON'T CALL ME PETIE.
MY MOM CALLS ME PETIE.
IT DRIVES ME NUTS.
I'LL HAVE TO REMEMBER THAT.
HELP ME OUT.
WHAT'S NICHOLS' STORY?
ASK HIM YOURSELF.
BOO!!
AH, MR. NICHOLS... PETER ARCHER, WSMX NEWS,
MIND IF I ASK YOU A COUPLE OF QUESTIONS?
YES, HE MINDS.
OH, COME ON, HELP A GUY OUT.
IT'S CHRISTMAS.
WHO ARE THE GIFTS FOR?
AN ORPHANAGE OR A SHELTER?
I HAVE JUST TWO WORDS FOR YOU MY FRIEND.
[UNCLEAR]
WHAT DID HE SAY?
IT'S GREEK TO ME.
ALL RIGHT, NOW WHAT?
I'M NOT GIVING UP THAT EASY.
COME ON.
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYONE.
HO, HO, HO, HO.
HUGO, LET'S GO.
WHAT ABOUT MY DOG?
NOW...
I'M GOING ON STRIKE WHEN THIS IS OVER.
I'M STRIKING I TELL YOU!
DON'T LOSE 'EM.
HE HAD SOME NERVE THAT NEWS GUY.
YOU WANT ME TO SLAP A LAW SUIT ON HIM?
NO.
HE IS KIND OF CUTE.
HE YOU LIKE THAT KIND OF STUDIED PERFECTION -
PIERCING EYES...
STRONG SHOULDERS...
THICK HAIR.
I MEAN IF YOU'RE INTO THAT SORT OF THING.
NICE SMILE.
PROBABLY CAPS.
YEAH.
STOP THE CAR.
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
HEY, NEWS BOY.
YOU WANT AN INTERVIEW? COME ON, COME ON.
HUGO, DRIVE.
I THOUGHT YOU WANTED YOUR PRIVACY.
DON'T YOU WORRY.
HOW'S IT GOING?
DRIVE, SHANNON MCMANNUS.
I'VE HEARD THAT THE CAMERA ADDS 10 POUNDS.
OH, YOU'RE FINE, YOU'RE FINE. JANET?
YEAH. STAND BY, WE'RE ROLLING.
MR. NICHOLS, WHAT MADE YOU
WANT TO LIGHTEN UP YOUR BANK ACCOUNT
THIS CHRISTMAS EVE?
I REALLY DON'T WANT TO LOOK FAT.
OKAY, OKAY, LET'S TRY THAT AGAIN.
MR. NICHOLS, WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO PLAY 'SECRET SANTA' TODAY?
IT'S NOT EXACTLY GOING TO BE A SECRET
IF YOU BROADCAST THIS, NOW IS IT?
WELL, NO.
NO, I GUESS NOT.
OKAY, MR. NICHOLS, WHAT MADE YOU WANT TO DO THIS?
FRED.
YOU'RE DOING IT FOR FRED?
NO, CALL ME FRED.
OH, OKAY, OKAY FRED.
ALL RIGHT, SO WHY ARE YOU DOING THIS FRED?
HAVE YOU MET MY DRIVER, SHANNON MCMANNUS?
QUITE THE LOOKER EH?
YES, YES SHE IS.
MR. NICHOLS, WOULDN'T YOUR MONEY BE PUT TO BETTER USE
IF TURNED OVER TO, SAY, A CHARITY?
NO, I WOULDN'T DISMISS A WOMAN LIKE THAT QUITE SO QUICKLY.
THEY DON'T COME ALONG THAT OFTEN...
YOU CAN TAKE IT FROM A MAN WHO KNOWS.
IF I WERE YOU, I'D JUST IGNORE HIM.
YOU KNOW, IT'S KIND OF HARD TO IGNORE HIM...
I'M INTERVIEWING HIM.
HOW WOULD YOU DESCRIBE HER?
FRED!
WELL, SHE'S GOT THE KIND OF FACE
A MAN WOULD BE HAPPY TO COME HOME TO.
DID YOU GET THAT ON TAPE?
YEAH, I GOT IT.
GREAT.
PROBABLY DIDN'T GET HER BLUSHING THOUGH.
OKAY, CAN WE JUST GET BACK TO THE STORY HERE?
NO.
WHY?
WE'RE HERE.
[¶]
ALL RIGHT EVERYONE.
SHALL WE?
YOU TOO SHANNON MCMANNUS.
THANK YOU ARTHUR. YOU'RE WELCOME.
THIS WAY.
SO, WHAT DO YOU THINK?
I KNOW THAT THEY KIND OF PULLED MY CHAIN A LITTLE
ON THE PRICE DIDN'T THEY ARTHUR?
YES, WELL PERHAPS IF YOU HADN'T HAVE SAID
"I'LL TAKE IT NO MATTER HOW MUCH IT IS"...
I COULD FIT MY WHOLE APARTMENT INTO THIS ONE ROOM.
THERE'S AN UPSTAIRS!
CERTAINLY, WHAT GOOD IS A STAIRCASE
WITHOUT AN UPSTAIRS AND A DOWNSTAIRS?
SO FRED, WHEN ARE YOU MOVING IN?
OH, I'M NOT. SHE IS.
EXCUSE ME?
AS THEY SAY IN MY FAVORITE SUSHI BAR,
[UNCLEAR]
GO AHEAD, OPEN IT.
IT'S ALL YOURS.
BUT...
OKAY, JUST SO I GET THIS STRAIGHT,
YOU'VE NEVER MET THIS MAN BEFORE?
NO.
AND HE'S JUST BOUGHT YOU A HOUSE?
YES.
OKAY, WHAT'S HE UP TO?
YOU'RE THE BIG SHOT REPORTER, YOU TELL ME.
I'M SENSING YOU DON'T HAVE
MUCH RESPECT FOR MY PROFESSION.
I HAVEN'T GIVEN YOUR PROFESSION MUCH THOUGHT.
I CAN'T TAKE THIS HOUSE.
CAN I?
WELL, WHO'S TO SAY, MAYBE IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAY.
OF COURSE, IT IS A BIT BIG FOR 1 PERSON.
TWO.
OH.
TREVOR.
HUSBAND?
SON.
DO YOU EVER STOP DIGGING?
WELL, I DON'T KNOW,
MAYBE I WAS HOPING IT WAS MY LUCKY DAY TOO.
AH, MR. SMOOTH.
I DO WHAT I CAN.
SO HOW ABOUT YOU?
PROBABLY ENGAGED ONCE BUT SHE LEFT YOU
BECAUSE YOU SPENT TOO MUCH TIME ON YOUR JOB.
LEFT YOU BROKEN HEARTED AND YOU VOWED
NEVER TO LET THAT HAPPEN AGAIN
AND NOW YOU THROW YOURSELF INTO A JOB,
JUST TO AVOID YOUR OWN LONELINESS.
HOW AM I DOING?
PRETTY GOOD.
I WOULD BE A FOOL NOT TO TAKE THIS HOUSE.
WHAT WOULD YOU DO?
SORRY, GOT TO REMAIN OBJECTIVE.
RIGHT, YOUR STORY.
I'LL PUT YOU DOWN AS NO HELP AT ALL.
YOU KNOW, MAYBE THERE IS ANOTHER ANGLE HERE.
LIKE WHAT?
MAYBE THE OLD MAN HAS DESIGNS ON YOU.
WOULDN'T BE THE FIRST TIME THAT A MAN TRIED
TO WIN A WOMAN'S HEART BY BUYING HER EXPENSIVE GIFTS.
NO, HE'S NOT LIKE THAT.
I KNOW WHEN A GUY IS HITTING ON ME.
IF YOU SAY SO.
HEY, ARE YOU HITTING ON ME?
IS THIS GOING TO TURN INTO
SOME SORT OF INDECENT PROPOSAL?
PLEASE.
AM I GOING TO HAVE TO RUN SOMEBODY OVER OR SOMETHING?
WHY, YOU DON'T YOU THINK I KNOW PEOPLE
WHO WOULD RUN OVER OTHER PEOPLE?
THIS DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE.
WELL, YOU'VE GOT ONE MINUTE TO MAKE UP YOUR MIND, OKAY.
I CAN'T JUST... FORTY-FIVE SECONDS...
YOU CAN'T JUST... OH, THAT'S THIRTY NOW...
IT'S A HOUSE... FIFTEEN LEFT...
WOULD YOU STOP DOING THAT?
TIME'S UP! YES OR NO?
MY FURNITURE WOULD LOOK HORRIBLE IN THAT PLACE.
HOW THOUGHTLESS OF ME.
I CAN GET MY DECORATOR OVER HERE,
WE'LL GIVE YOU SOME MORE NEUTRAL TONES.
YOU'LL BE FINISHED BY TONIGHT.
[¶]
JANET, THE TAPES. HUGO EDIT.
SEE WHAT YOU'VE REDUCED ME TO?
I'M SUCKING KETCHUP.
FRANK... PETER.
LISTEN I NEED YOU TO SEND A CREW...
ANOTHER CREW?
YEAH, GET EVERYONE WE CAN FIND WHO KNOWS NICHOLS
AND GET HIM ON CAMERA.
WHY?
ASK THEM IF THEY THINK HE'S LOST HIS MIND.
FRED NICHOLS... YOU'RE KIDDING.
NO I'M NOT KIDDING,
THIS GUY ISN'T WITHIN DRIVING DISTANCE OF NORMAL.
CAN YOU GO LIVE?
YEAH, SURE WE CAN GO LIVE.
ALL WE NEED IS A FIVE-MINUTE WARNING.
GIVE US A FIVE-MINUTE WARNING.
YEAH, THANKS.
TROY, YOUR BEING PEEVISH ISN'T HELPING THINGS.
MRS. GRANGER? IS EVERYTHING ALL RIGHT?
NO, IT'S NOT ALL RIGHT.
I KNOW WHAT WE NEED. SOME CHRISTMAS CAROLS.
LOOK 2 YEARS IN A ROW WE DID YOUR PARENTS.
I CAN'T TAKE ANOTHER NEW YEARS IN ...
[LOUD MUSIC]
WHAT? I CAN'T HEAR YOU...
WHAT'S WRONG?
NO BOCA!
EVERYBODY ZIP IT!
SORRY.
I'LL CALL YOU LATER.
TREVOR, HONEY?
WHAT'S THE MATTER?
YOU DON'T FEEL WELL.
WHAT'S WRONG? IS THAT YOUR SON?
YEAH, HE'S SICK.
ARTHUR, YOU GET CAPTAIN FINLAY ON THE PHONE IMMEDIATELY,
TELL HIM WE NEED A POLICE ESCORT, STAT!
MOMMY'S COMING HOME.
YES, CAPTAIN FINLAY PLEASE.
ARTHUR FINNEGAN, YES.
THAT'S FINE, THAT'S FINE, THAT'S FINE.
HEY, THEY'RE LEAVING!
FOLLOW THEM, QUICK!
IT'S A GOOD THING I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING IN MY STOMACH.
AH, SORRY DUDE.
[LOUD COMMOTION]
[SIREN]
DOES SOMEBODY WANT TO TELL ME WHAT'S GOING ON?
OFFICER, THERE IS A BOY IN THAT BUILDING WITH A TUMMY ACHE!
DISPATCH, THIS IS 2-ADAM-5,
WE GOT A KID WITH A TUMMY ACHE?
THAT IS CORRECT.
I'LL GET BACK TO YOU.
PETER?
WE'RE LIVE.
THERE SHE IS, GET THAT.
IT'S OKAY, HE'S FINE.
WONDERFUL.
TELL YOU WHAT FOLKS.
STEP ON OVER HERE IF YOU WILL.
DO A LITTLE SEASONAL BUSINESS SHALL WE?
ALLOW ME TO SAY [UNCLEAR]
AND TO ALL A [UNCLEAR]
MR. NICHOLS, HOW DOES YOUR FAMILY FEEL
ABOUT YOU GIVING AWAY ALL THIS CASH?
WELL, YOU'D HAVE TO ASK MY DAUGHTER.
THERE YOU GO.
SHANNON DIDN'T TELL US SHE WAS YOUR DAUGHTER...
UH, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
SHANNON, SHANNON.
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR FATHER
GIVING AWAY YOUR INHERITANCE?
MY FATHER?
YEAH, FRED NICHOLS HAS JUST TOLD US
THAT HE'S YOUR FATHER.
HE'S NOT MY FATHER.
WHAT ARE YOU DOING TELLING PEOPLE YOU'RE MY FATHER?
YOU'RE NOT MY FATHER.
FRED: WELL, I WANTED TO TELL YOU SOONER,
BUT I WAS AFRAID.
I CERTAINLY DIDN'T WANT TO UPSET MY GRANDSON.
WOULDN'T YOU LIKE TO GIVE YOUR GRANDFATHER A LITTLE HUG?
DO YOU MIND?
SORRY.
YOU OKAY?
YOU'RE SCARING A LITTLE BOY.
WANT TO PRESS CHARGES?
SHE'LL BE FINE.
I BAKED THEM MYSELF.
I'M THINKING WITH THE RIGHT ENTREPRENEUR BEHIND ME,
I COULD BECOME ANOTHER MRS. FIELDS.
WHO KNOWS?
SHE AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON MY SHORTBREAD.
HAVE ONE.
VERY WELL. THANK YOU.
I'LL TELL YOU WHAT MADAM.
HERE IS AT LEAST $1,000.
PROMISE ME YOU'LL NEVER BAKE COOKIES AGAIN. EVER!
WHY ARE THOSE PEOPLE PLAYING OUTSIDE OUR HOUSE?
AND THE POLICEMEN?
CAN YOU MAKE THEM TURN ON THEIR SIREN?
TREVOR!
I'M SORRY.
ARE YOU MADE AT ME?
NO, MOMMY IS MAD AT SOMEONE ELSE.
THE FUNNY MAN?
YES.
WE, WE, WE NEED TO TALK.
MOMMY NEEDS TO TALK TO THAT MAN.
IF YOU'RE MAD, DON'T YOU NEED A TIME OUT FIRST?
I'M FINE.
WAIT HERE.
ARE YOU NUTS, SAYING SOMETHING LIKE THAT
IN FRONT OF A TELEVISION CAMERA?
WELL, I DIDN'T REALIZE THEY WERE RECORDING.
AND WHAT DO YOU MEAN, YOU'RE MY FATHER?
I KNOW WHO MY FATHER IS.
IT'S THE SAME MAN THAT I'VE BEEN CALLING DAD
MY ENTIRE LIFE.
BUT ACTUALLY THE TRUTH IS...
I PICKED YOU UP THIS MORNING,
AND YOU'RE THROWING MONEY AROUND,
AND BUYING HOUSES AND TOYS... AND...
EXACTLY WHO THE HELL ARE YOU?
WELL, IT'S A LONG...
I CAN'T HAVE THIS CONVERSATION.
I'M TAKING YOU BACK TO THE PENTHOUSE
AND THEN I'M COMING HOME WITH MY BOY
AND WE ARE GOING TO DECORATE
OUR PATHETIC LITTLE CHRISTMAS TREE
AND I'M GOING TO WORK VERY HARD
TO FORGET THIS DAY EVER HAPPENED.
DON'T YOU WANT TO KNOW?
NO. I DON'T. GET IN THE CAR.
PLEASE. NOW!
ARTHUR, IF YOU WOULD BE SO KIND.
THANK YOU ONCE AGAIN.
ALL RIGHT FOLKS, SHOW'S OVER.
OKAY, LET'S GO, LET'S GO.
SEE, HE LIKES THEM.
COME ON, WE'RE ON THE MOVE.
LADY, I'D EAT WALLPAPER RIGHT NOW.
THANKS A BUNCH.
SHEESH.
OFFICER, HAVE A COOKIE!
HOW'S YOUR EYE?
I'LL LIVE.
AH, YOU'RE A TROOPER.
HUGO.
I THINK THOSE COOKIES HAD CEMENT IN THEM.
EDIT, JANET.
YEAH, YEAH, YEAH, FOLLOW THE LIMO.
ALLISON, WHAT HAVE YOU GOT FOR ME?
I'VE GOT ABOUT HALF A DOZEN PEOPLE CALLING IN
SAYING THAT NICHOLS IS THEIR FATHER TOO.
WHAT?
AND GET THIS.
A SOURCE AT NICHOLS' BROKERAGE HOUSE
SAYS ABOUT HE FLIPPED OUT.
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
OH HE SHOWED UP TO WORK IN HIS BATHROBE.
HE SPENT THE DAY TALKING TO THE PLANTS.
THEY SHIPPED HIM OFF TO A SANATORIUM FOR 4 WEEKS,
THEN FORCED HIM INTO EARLY RETIREMENT.
I KNEW IT.
THIS NICHOLS GUY IS A WHACK JOB.
MAYBE.
HOW MANY OF THESE SO-CALLED CHILDREN
DO YOU THINK YOU CAN ROUND UP?
WE'VE GOT THREE ON CAMERA SO FAR.
OH GOOD, I'LL BLINK THEM TO US
AND SEE IF WE CAN CUT THEM INTO THE PIECE.
IS THAT HIM?
PETER, I CALLED THE NETWORK...
THEY WANT THIS FOR A NATIONAL FEED...
PLUS A POSSIBLE FOLLOWUP
ON THE MORNING NEWS SHOW TOMORROW.
THIS IS BIG.
OKAY, I'M ON IT.
JANET, START PACKING YOUR BAGS FOR D.C..
WE GOT THE GIG? NOT FOR SURE YET,
BUT I'VE GOT A GOOD FEELING ABOUT IT.
COOL LADY, KIND OF CUTE.
TOO BAD SHE'S CAUGHT UP IN THIS SIDE SHOW.
THIS GUY CAME BY AND BUYS OUT MY WHOLE CART.
GIVES ME 500 CLAMS.
HOW DID HE ACT?
LIKE HE BLOWS HIS NOTE WITH C-NOTES.
I SHOULD BE SO LUCKY.
OKAY, NOW CHECK THIS ONE OUT.
YEAH.
THIS NICHOLS' GUY IS MY OLD MAN.
DADDY, COME ON DOWN AND GIVE ME MY ALLOWANCE.
THAT'S PRICELESS.
IT'S CHRISTMAS.
TIME TO BE TOGETHER.
PAPA, CAN YOU HEAR ME?
NOW THIS IS MY FAVOURITE, MY ABSOLUTE FAVOURITE.
IT'S SAD BEING TOSSED ASIDE BECAUSE OF YOUR SIZE,
BUT I FORGAVE HIM.
HE'S MY POP YOU KNOW.
GIMME A MINUTE, I'M AN EMOTION WRECK.
MR. NICHOLS, DAD,
SONNY BOY IS WORKING AT SANTA LAND UNTIL 6:00 -
HOPE I SEE YOU THERE AFTERWARD.
THAT IS GOOD.
OKAY, WHAT DO WE WANT TO DO HERE?
I CAN SPLICE ALL THIS IN
WITH THE HOT LIMO DRIVER GETTING AMBUSHED.
HER NAME'S SHANNON. WE DIDN'T AMBUSH HER.
WE DIDN'T?
HOW DO YOU FEEL ABOUT YOUR FATHER
GIVING AWAY YOUR INHERITANCE?
MY FATHER?
YOU'RE SCARING A LITTLE BOY, DO YOU MIND?
CUT AROUND THAT.
HE'S NOT MY FATHER.
IT IS A BIT OF A CIRCUS, ISN'T IT.
TREVOR, DON'T.
IT'S OKAY.
HEY TREVOR, DID YOU EVER
HEAR THE MATING CALL OF A REINDEER?
NO.
HEY TOOTS, NICE SET OF ANTLERS!
YOU'RE FUNNY.
I GET THAT A LOT, YEAH.
SIT BACK DOWN TREVOR.
IT'S OKAY REALLY.
TREVOR, GET BACK HERE THIS INSTANT.
HEY, IT'S ALL RIGHT.
WELCOME TO THE BACK SEAT.
I LIKE IT BACK HERE.
TREVOR MAKE SURE YOU HAVE YOUR SEATBELT ON.
MOMMY NEVER LETS ME SIT IN THE BACK
ON ACCOUNT OF MY HANDS ARE ALWAYS STICKY.
OH YEAH.
TELL YOU WHAT?
GIVE ME A HIGH TEN, OKAY.
OKAY, ATTA BOY.
ARTHUR.
OKAY, SO WE ALL HAVE STICKY HANDS BACK HERE.
DO YOU HEAR THAT?
WE HAVE A WHOLE STICKY-HANDED CREW OF MEN BACK HERE.
YOU CAN'T PULL THEM APART CAN YOU?
THEY'RE TOO STICKY.
OH NO, OH NO.
NO.
OH NO.
HELP ME ARTHUR.
HELP ME PLEASE.
THANK YOU.
SO SILLY.
OH NOW MY HAND IS STUCK IN THE HAIR.
FREE AT LAST, FREE AT LAST.
[¶]
[UNCLEAR] THAT'S SWEDEN.
THAT A BOY.
MR. NICHOLS, QUITE A DAY YOU HAD EH?
SEEN YOU ON THE NEWS.
YES, YES.
SHANNON, SHANNON, I HAVE TO TALK TO YOU ABOUT FRED.
WELL, I DON'T WANT TO TALK TO YOU NEWSBOY.
LOOK, IT'S JUST ME THIS TIME, NO CAMERA,
NO CAMERA. IT'S JUST ME.
I KNOW WHAT THAT IS.
WELL, THERE'S NO USE
LEAVING IT WRAPPED THEN IS THERE. ROGER.
WHAT?
HE'S NOT JUST ECCENTRIC, HE HAD A NERVOUS BREAKDOWN.
LET'S PLAY. HOW'S THAT MY PROBLEM?
WELL YOU BETTER ASK YOUR MOM.
IT HAPPENED ABOUT A YEAR AGO,
RIGHT AFTER YOUR MOTHER DIED.
HOW DO YOU KNOW ABOUT MY MOTHER?
THAT'S WHAT I DO. I FIND OUT THINGS.
MOM.
FRED'S CO-WORKERS SAID HE JUST CHUCKED EVERYTHING.
CAREER, COMPANY, CASH...
NOT NOW HONEY.
I THINK THE GUY NEEDS HELP.
MOM, CAN I PLAY SOCCER?
YES, JUST DON'T GET DIRTY.
YAY!
OKAY, LET'S GO.
ROGER, YOU BE THE GOALIE.
I'M SORRY, BUT FRED IS NOT MY PROBLEM.
BUT WHAT IF HE IS YOUR FATHER?
HE IS NOT MY FATHER.
BEN MCMANNUS WAS MY FATHER.
BESIDES HE HAS HIS PEOPLE.
NO, NO, HE RETIRED ALL HIS HELP.
GAVE THEM FAT PENSIONS.
ARTHUR IS JUST HAUSE HE'S .
SHOOT, NICE MOVE.
YES, YES.
I'VE GOT TO GET MY SON.
TREVOR, TREVOR, LET'S GO.
BUT YOU SAID I COULD PLAY.
LET'S GO.
OH NO!
NEVER IN MY ENTIRE LIFE
HAVE I SCORED A GOAL IN ANYTHING!
NOW WHO WANTS SOME HOT CHOCOLATE?
ME! OKAY, LET'S GO.
TREVOR.
ROGER. NICE MATCH.
THANK YOU SIR.
TREVOR, DON'T TOUCH ANYTHING.
THAT'S OKAY, WE COULD PROBABLY
HAVE A SOCCER MATCH IN HERE EH?
TREVOR, COME ON.
DO YOU LIKE MARSHMALLOWS?
WHAT COLOUR OF MARSHMALLOWS DO YOU LIKE?
DO YOU LIKE WHITE ONES?
WELL, HOW ABOUT A TOASTY FIRE?
WE'LL HAVE TO FIGURE OUT HOW TO MAKE THIS THING WORK.
I USED TO HAVE A FIRE GUY... BUT...
I NEED SOME STRAIGHT ANSWERS.
WELL, YOU DESERVE THEM.
SHOOT.
WHY ARE YOU LYING ABOUT BEING MY FATHER?
I AM NOT LYING.
YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE TO LAY THIS OUT FOR ME.
WHEN BEN AND GRACE WERE DATING,
HE INVESTED EVERYTHING HE HAD
INTO SOME OIL FIELD SPECULATIONS,
THEN HE WENT BUST AND HE JUST PUSHED GRACE AWAY-
OUT OF SHAME I GUESS.
SO WHAT? YOU CAME SWOOPING IN?
WELL, YOUR MOTHER AND I WE,
WE DID SPEND THE WEEKEND TOGETHER SARATOGA,
WATCHING HORSE RACES.
SHE WAS REALLY SOMETHING THE WAY SHE'D STAND UP IN HER SEAT
AND JUST SORT OF YELL HER HORSE
ACROSS THE FINISH LINE.
ANYWAY, THAT WEEKEND...
WE...
THAT'S WHEN YOU WERE...
YOU CAN SKIP THE DETAILS.
WELL, WHEN BEN CAME TO HIS SENSES,
HE BEGGED GRACE TO LET HIM COME BACK
AND SHE REALLY LOVED HIM,
SO THEY WERE MARRIED WITHIN A MONTH...
AND I COULDN'T BLAME HER.
BEN WAS A GOOD MAN.
LOUSY AT BUSINESS, BUT GOOD AT OTHER THINGS.
BEN WAS ALL HEART.
SO DID HE KNOW THAT I WASN'T HIS CHILD?
OH, LORD NO.
I PROMISED GRACE.
IT WOULD HAVE BROKEN HIS HEART.
I SAID I WOULD NEVER TELL AND THAT WAS THAT.
HE DIED NEVER KNOWING,
AND THEN WHEN YOUR MOTHER FELL ILL,
I WENT TO VISIT HER IN THE HOSPITAL
AND THAT IS WHEN SHE GAVE ME HER BLESSING TO MEET YOU.
I REALIZED HOW MUCH I HAD MISSED...
I DIDN'T SEE YOU GROW UP.
WHY DIDN'T MY MOTHER WANT ME TO KNOW YOU BEFORE THAT?
WELL, SEE...
I WAS THE ONE WHO CONVINCED BEN
TO INVEST IN THOSE OIL FIELDS.
I WAS YOUNG, BRASH,
THOUGHT I COULD SMELL OIL IN THE DIRT.
MADE A MISTAKE,
AND THE TRUTH IS
THAT SOME PART OF ME WAS HAPPY, I GUESS,
WHEN HE LOST EVERYTHING.
SEE I WANTED GRACE
AND I THOUGHT IF BEN DIDN'T HAVE ANY MONEY,
THEN SHE'D WANT ME INSTEAD OF HIM.
SO THAT'S WHAT THIS DAY WAS ABOUT?
TRYING TO BUY MY LOVE THE WAY YOU TRIED TO BUY MY MOTHER'S?
NO, NO.
YOU THINK THAT GIVING ME YOUR MONEY MAKES UP
FOR WHAT YOU DID TO MY FATHER?
NO, I KNOW THAT DOESN'T WORK.
THEN WHAT?
MONEY MEANS NOTHING.
I WOULD GIVE IT ALL AWAY.
I JUST WANT A FAMILY.
MY FAMILY.
GET THIS STRAIGHT.
TREVOR AND I AREN'T YOUR FAMILY.
WE WILL NEVER BE YOUR FAMILY.
SO JUST TAKE ALL YOUR RICHES
AND MERRY FRIGGIN' CHRISTMAS.
LET'S GO.
BUT I DON'T WANT TO GO.
WELL, WE HAVE TO GET HOME TO DECORATE THE TREE.
HEY, HEY, WWWAIT.
WHY? SO YOU CAN GET MORE MISERY
FOR THE ELEVEN O'CLOCK NEWS?
SHANNON WHAT'S UP? TALK TO ME.
YOU CAN ROLL ON THIS...
FRED NICHOLS IS A CHEAT AND A THIEF
AND I'M GOING TO GET A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST HIM.
THAT'S THE ENDING TO YOUR STORY.
TICK-TOCK GUYS.
TEN MORE MINUTES.
GET FIVE OR ELSE THERE'S GOING TO BE A BLACK HOLE
IN THE MIDDLE OF THE BROADCAST.
GET OUT!
OKAY, THAT'S GOOD. PLAY IT BACK.
NOW I JUST NEED AN ENDING.
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I SAID OUT.
I GUESS I HAD THAT COMING.
HEY LITTLE FELLA, WANT TO PHOTOCOPY YOUR FACE?
CAN I?
YES, JUST DON'T GET IN ANYONE'S WAY.
LET'S GO.
I GOT HALFWAY HOME AND I HAD TO COME BACK.
WHAT I SAID ABOUT NICHOLS?
I WAS PISSED.
I DON'T WANT YOU TO HURT HIM.
OH, TALK ABOUT A 180.
I KNOW.
AND I KNOW THAT THAT SLEAZY EXPLOITATION
MAKES FOR A BETTER STORY,
BUT I DON'T WANT YOU TO USE IT, PLEASE.
HE SUFFERED ENOUGH.
SO WHY THE SUDDEN TURN?
I GUESS I JUST WANT IT ALL TO BE OVER.
THAT'S A LOT TO ASK HERE AT THE LAST MINUTE.
HAD TO GIVE IT A SHOT.
YOU KNOW I LOOKED AT NICHOLS AND YOU KNOW WHAT I SEE?
I SEE A GUY WHO HAS PRETTY MUCH GOTTEN
EVERYTHING HE EVER WANTED IN LIFE,
BUT NOTHING HE REALLY NEEDED.
MUST HAVE BEEN TOUGH FOR HIM ALL THESE YEARS
WATCHING HIS ONLY KID GROW UP,
NOT EVEN BEING ABLE TO TALK TO HER.
WELL, HE DID A DANDY JOB
OF TRYING TO MAKE UP FOR IT TODAY.
I GUESS HE DIDN'T GET MUCH PRACTICE
ON HIS HUMAN RELATIONSHIPS.
BUT THEN AGAIN, WE'VE ALL BUILT OUR WALLS.
WHAT?
YOU'RE SAYING THAT IT RUNS IN THE FAMILY?
YOU KNOW, I JUDGE PEOPLE ON THEIR ACTIONS.
FRED NICHOLS USED HIS POWER TO RUIN MY FATHER.
HE BROKE HIS SPIRIT.
THAT'S NOT SOMETHING I CAN FORGET.
YOU KNOW WHAT, JUST DO WHAT EVER YOU WANT WITH THE STORY.
OH WAIT... YOU...
HEY, EAT FIRST. TREE, SECOND.
TV?
SURE.
[SOUND OF TV IN BACKGROUND...]
WHICH ONE IS THAT?
THAT'S GRAND POP, GRAND MOM AND ME,
WHEN I WAS ABOUT YOUR AGE.
I REMEMBER THAT ONE.
[TV IN BACKGROUND]
IT'S THE FUNNY MAN.
PETER: WELL, I HAVE HAD QUITE A DAY FOLLOWING AROUND
THIS CITY'S SECRET SANTA, SURPRISES AT EVERY TURN.
BUT HE SAVED THE BIGGEST SURPRISE FOR LAST -
THE REASON WHY HE WAS DOING IT.
I WANT TO SEE.
FRED: I DO IT FOR THE MOST SELFISH REASON IMAGINED.
IT'S US!
I DO IT FOR THE SMILES.
SEEING THE PLEASURE ON A CHILD'S FACE
RECEIVING A NEW TOY...
A MOTHER GETTING ENOUGH CASH TO PAY THE NEXT MONTH'S RENT...
...IT'S ADDICTIVE.
YOU CAN GET HOOKED TOO.
TRY BAKING A CAKE FOR A NEIGHBOUR YOU'VE NEVER MET,
OR BUYING A MEAL FOR A HOMELESS PERSON,
HELP A STRANGER FIX A FLAT TIRE.
BECAUSE, YOU KNOW, AT THE END OF THE DAY,
ALL WE REALLY HAVE IS EACH OTHER.
WE'RE ALL FAMILY.
PETER: IT COULDN'T BE MORE SIMPLE THAN THAT.
I'M PETER ARCHER. HAVE YOURSELVES A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
OR AS THEY SAY IN ROMANIA... [UNCLEAR].
NOW ALL YOU KIDS OUT THERE GET TO BED
BECAUSE SANTA IS ON HIS WAY.
[KNOCKING] YO, MR. N?
OVER HERE.
MERRY CHRISTMAS.
WELL, LOOK AT THAT?
ARE THOSE GIFTS GOING TO THE USUAL PLACE AGAIN THIS YEAR?
YES.
IT'S BEEN WHAT? SIX OR SEVEN YEARS YOU'RE DOING THIS,
THAT'S GOT TO BE THE BIGGEST HAUL YET MR. N.
ROGER IF YOU COULD CALL A CAB
AND PACK THEM UP FOR DELIVERY.
WE'RE GOING TO NEED THREE.
I'LL GET RIGHT ON IT.
OH YEAH, THE MRS. WANTED ME TO GIVE YOU THIS.
IT'S A FRUIT CAKE.
I KNOW WHAT YOU'RE PROBABLY THINKING,
THAT WE GOT THIS AND WE'RE PROBABLY PASSING IT ALONG,
BUT SHE DID MAKE IT FRESH.
OH, THAT'S VERY THOUGHTFUL.
PLEASE THANK YOUR WIFE FOR ME ROGER.
I WILL SIR.
IF YOU DON'T MIND MY SAYING SO MR. N,
YOU LOOK PRETTY BLUE.
LET ME TAKE A GUESS. IS IT FAMILY?
YEAH.
HOLIDAYS. SUPPOSED TO BE THIS GREAT TIME AND ALL THAT,
BUT I THINK IT JUST DRIVES PEOPLE MENTAL.
AND YOU KNOW, IN THE END AFTER ALL THE YELLING
AND SCREAMING AND FIGHTING OVER WHO CARVES THE TURKEY,
IT CAN BE PRETTY NICE.
NO MATTER WHAT YOU ALWAYS WANT TO HOLD ON
TO THOSE CHRISTMAS SMILES.
ROGER, CALL 4 CABS. I'M GOING TO NEED ONE.
YES SIR.
THANKS MOM.
[TELEPHONE RINGING]
HELLO?
PETER? IT'S CRAZY DOWN HERE.
THE PHONES ARE RINGING OFF THE HOOK.
PEOPLE ARE TRIPPING OVER THEMSELVES
TO BE NICE TO EACH OTHER.
GIVING STUFF AWAY.
PINNING IT ON THIS NICHOLS GUY.
I NEED YOU TO GET A FOLLOWUP WITH HIM.
WELL, IT JUST SO HAPPENS
I DON'T HAVE ANYTHING ELSE TO THIS MORNING.
YEAH, WELL YOU'RE GOING TO HAVE SOME PACKING TO DO.
THAT D.C. GIG YOU'VE BEEN BUSTING MY CHOPS ABOUT,
IT'S YOURS.
YOU HEAR ME? PETER?
YOU KNOW, I THINK I'M JUST GOING TO STAY HERE.
WE MUST HAVE A BAD CONNECTION.
DID YOU JUST SAY... ?
YEAH, I'M RECOMMENDING LAUREN FOR THE JOB.
BUT DON'T TELL HER I SAID THAT.
IT'LL BE OUR LITTLE SECRET.
I DON'T GET IT.
WHAT GIVES?
LET'S JUST SAY, THIS CITY SEEMS
A LITTLE MORE ATTRACTIVE THIS MORNING.
BYE.
IF YOU'RE LOOKING FOR MR. NICHOLS YOU JUT MISSED HIM.
WHERE'D HE GO?
I DON'T KNOW IF I SHOULD SAY ANYTHING.
MR. NICHOLS HAS BEEN KEEPING THIS ON THE Q/T FOR YEARS.
IT'S LIKE YOU SAID ON YOUR THING LAST NIGHT,
JUST DO GOOD STUFF.
CAN YOU HELP ME OUT WITH THIS PLEASE?
IT'S IMPORTANT.
WELL, ALL RIGHT, BUT YOU DIDN'T HEAR IT FROM ME.
THANKS.
HEY LOOK.
HEY, THAT LOOKS GREAT.
WHAT DID YOUR DADDY SEND YOU?
DADDY SENT ME A JUNIOR DENTAL KIT.
CAN I SCRUB MRS. GRANGER'S CAT WITH THIS?
SURE.
SO YOU'RE NOT DISAPPOINTED
YOU DIDN'T GET A SUPER BIKE?
IT'S OKAY.
I JUST LIKE HAVING YOU FOR MY PRESENT.
AND I GOT TO RIDE IN THE BACK OF THE LIMO.
COME HERE YOU.
HAVE I TOLD YOU LATELY HOW SPECIAL YOU ARE?
[KNOCK ON DOOR]
I'LL GET IT.
IT'S THE TV GUY.
HIS NAME IS MR. ARCHER.
TV GUY IS FINE.
HOW'S YOUR CHRISTMAS TREVOR?
AWESOME. WE WERE ON TV LAST NIGHT.
OKAY, OKAY.
HI.
SOMEBODY MISSING A HAT?
YOU KNOW I'VE TRIED TO LOSE THAT THING
ABOUT A HUNDRED TIMES AND IT JUST KEEPS COMING BACK.
AND THANK YOU, BY THE WAY, FOR NOT...
NO PROBLEM, I JUST TOLD WHAT NEEDED TO BE TOLD, THAT'S ALL.
YOU WANT COFFEE?
YEAH, I'D LIKE THAT.
I HOPE YOU LIKE INSTANT.
MAYBE TEA?
WOULD YOU SETTLE FOR HOT CHOCOLATE?
SURE.
HEY, IS THIS YOU?
YEAH.
YOU KNOW I'VE BEEN UP ALL NIGHT LOOKING AT THIS THING.
I THINK MAYBE BEN KNEW ALL ALONG
THAT I WASN'T HIS DAUGHTER, BUT HE NEVER LET ON.
HE NEVER LOVED ME ANY LESS.
I WAS GRACE'S DAUGHTER AND THAT'S ALL HE NEEDED.
WE WERE HAPPY.
POOR BUT HAPPY.
THERE'S NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT.
NOTHING AT ALL.
I STILL CAN'T FIGURE OUT WHY MY MOM CHANGED HER MIND
AND LET NICHOLS OFF THE HOOK.
I'D LIKE TO TAKE YOU SOMEWHERE.
RIGHT NOW?
YOU'RE GOING TO WANT TO SEE THIS.
[CHATTER OF CHILDREN IN BACKGROUND]
GUYS, YOU'VE GOT SOME GIFTS RIGHT OVER THERE.
HO, HO, HO, MERRY CHRISTMAS.
HEY, LOOK. IT'S THE FUNNY MAN.
APPARENTLY THIS ISN'T THE FIRST YEAR
FRED DECIDED TO PLAY SECRET SANTA.
MERRY CHRISTMAS, ARE YOU HERE TO HELP,
OR DO YOU NEED HELP?
I'M NOT SURE WHY WE'RE HERE.
WELL ALL ARE WELCOME AT THE MCMANNUS FAMILY CENTRE.
MCMANNUS?
MHM.
WE'RE A HALFWAY HOUSE FOR FAMILIES
WHO HAVE FALLEN ON HARD TIMES.
WE PROVIDE A SAFE PLACE, FOOD, JOB TRAINING...
I'M PETER ARCHER, WXMS NEWS.
I KNEW IT WAS YOU!
WOW, YOU'RE EVEN BETTER LOOKING IN PERSON.
THANK YOU.
I WAS HOPING TO DO A STORY ON YOUR SHELTER.
YEAH, LET ME SHOW YOU AROUND.
MEET SOME OF THE PEOPLE.
[CHATTER OF CHILDREN IN BACKGROUND]
YOU BUILT THIS PLACE DIDN'T YOU?
WHY DIDN'T YOU SAY SOMETHING YESTERDAY?
A LITTLE HARD FOR A GIFT TO REMAIN ANONYMOUS
IF PEOPLE KNOW ABOUT IT.
YOU DID IT IN '94?
YEAH, AFTER BEN DIED.
I WANTED HIM TO HAVE A LEGACY
AND GRACE FOUND OUT
JUST BEFORE SHE PASSED THIS YEAR.
AND THAT'S WHY SHE FORGAVE YOU
AND SAID THAT YOU COULD CONTACT ME?
I GUESS SO.
MOM LOOK, IT'S THE SUPER BIKE I ASKED SANTA FOR.
WOW!
I GUESS SANTA GOT HIS ADDRESSES CONFUSED.
SO WHAT DO WE SAY?
DO YOU HAVE ANY BATTERIES?
YOU KNOW IT'S LIKE A MIRACLE!
THEY'RE INCLUDED.
LET'S RACE HIM AROUND THE TREE.
OKAY, THAT SOUNDS LIKE A GREAT IDEA.
YEAH OKAY, WE'LL SET UP
FOR A CREW TO COME IN SOME TIME NEXT WEEK.
OKAY.
I WANT TO THANK YOU FOR BRINGING ME HERE.
ACTUALLY I HAVE A CONFESSION TO MAKE.
I DON'T THINK I CAN HANDLE ANYMORE CONFESSIONS.
I BROKE A RULE OF JOURNALISM.
WHICH IS?
NEVER GET PERSONALLY INVOLVED WITH THE SUBJECT OF YOUR STORY.
YOU KNOW HE'S GONNA FIND A WAY TO MAKE US GO OUT
AND I'M GOING TO FIND IT PRETTY HARD TO SAY NO.
WELL, JUST TO KEEP HIM QUIET,
MAYBE WE COULD GO FOR LUNCH.
OR DINNER.
BUT YOUR REPUTATION MIGHT BE RUINED.
NO SUPER REPORTER AWARDS FOR YOU.
I'M WILLING TO TAKE THAT CHANCE IF YOU ARE.
[UNCLEAR]
THAT LATIN...
OLD SCHOOL...
AND SPEAKING OF OLD SCHOOL...
MISTLETOE...
THIS MEANS KISSING.
MERRY CHRISTMAS FRED.
DAD.
[CHATTER OF CHILDREN IN BACKGROUND]